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Ways to Become an Elite Conversationalist


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Here are some quality ways to become an elite conversationalist. Being good at communicating and having interesting, healthy conversations is a vital skill to have for a successful life. If you know how to talk to people and how to hold a quality conversation, you’ll be able to create a greater network of friends, connections and opportunities in your life.

Here are some of the best ways to become an elite conversationalist:

Be Genuinely Interested

The best conversationalists know that when speaking to someone it’s important to be genuinely interested in what they have to say. People love to talk about themselves and if you let them, they’ll likely do it all night long. That’s fine though, let them! When you are genuinely interested in someone and you display active listening skills and ask questions and are engaging you allow the other person to feel seen and heard. Let’s be honest, at the end of the day we all just want to feel seen and heard. By making someone else feel this way, you’re going to become more memorable to them.

Think Before You Speak

If you want to be an elite conversationalist, it’s important that you have self composure and think before you speak. You should not be impulsive and blurt out rude remarks or opinions. Always ask if the words you’re about to say are important, necessary and going to positively contribute to the conversation.

Know Off-Limits Topics

A great conversationalist knows what topics should be brought up as well as which topics should be avoided at all costs. If you want to know what the seven topics you should NEVER bring up, read this post.

You should really keep topics light hearted and know your audience. You should never intentionally make your audience uncomfortable or say things that will lower the vibration or create an awkward tension. Keep your ego on the low if you want to be known as an elite conversationalist. It’s all about keeping the conversation flowing and making the other person feel comfortable and good.

Be Interesting

In order to have a good conversation flowing, you need to be interesting. The number one way to be interesting is simply, to have interests! There are so many things you can have interests in, but it’s important that you at least have a few things. Whether it’s something with the arts, sports, hobbies, etc. you really should have a few things that you can bring up to talk with others about so that you don’t come off as boring and uninteresting.

Ask Open Ended Questions

Someone who is great at the art of conversation knows to always ask open ended questions. Using phrases like how was (blank) or tell me about (blank) or what was that experience like? The point is to get more words out of the other person, get the conversation flowing more. The more that is said, the more that you can connect with and continue to maintain that conversational flow.

Always keep a smile and continue to ask questions without sounding like you’re prying or being nosey.

Have a Few Topic Go-To’s / Be Prepared

In order to avoid any awkward pauses or weirdness, try having a few go-to topics on hand that you can bring up to anyone at any time. A great rule of thumb is Art and Architecture. Most places you are, you’ll be able to spot a piece of art, a painting or a sculpture, and say something interesting about it. You can do the same about the architecture. These are two great topics that most people have something to say about and are interesting enough with being something you pulled out of nowhere.

I’d recommend steering clear of the weather. It’s a go-to for a lot of people but honestly, it’s such a boring topic. If you’re able to, try doing some research ahead of time, before the event, so you can have a few more interesting go-to topics to bring up.

One of my favorite go-to topics is travel. I love to ask if the other person has any trips planned or to share any trips I have planned. People usually can always connect on travel or dream destinations and more. I love that as a go-to conversation topic.

Always Stay Positive

It’s really important when working towards becoming an elite conversationalist to learn how to not get caught in negative traps. For example, you might know to avoid one of the seven off-limits topics, but your peers might not. If someone brings something up that kills the vibe or is not a positive topic, always try to redirect the conversation toward the light.

When the vibe is brought down and tension is created it can truly ruin the rest of the night. By making it your goal to keep things positive, light hearted and optimistic, you’ll surely help keep the night enjoyable for all.

Find Common Ground

If you want to become an elite conversationalist, you need to know how to find common ground. Life is all about relationships and connection and the number one way to do this is to find common ground. I would highly recommend you not find common ground on one of the seven off-limits topics or by gossiping. Always try to find common ground on positive topics because that’s how to establish a true connection with someone.

By focusing on what you and another person have in common, you’ll be able to establish trust with that person and they will likely start bringing their walls down. It’s very important tip and something to try to do in the beginning of the conversation. Always ensure it’s genuine and you aren’t forcing a commonality that isn’t really there.

Compliment Don’t Comment

When meeting someone new, if you want to become an elite conversationalist, try to focus on not sharing your opinion. You want to try and compliment more than you comment. Sometimes when we comment on things we hear or the things someone tells us, we can tend to sound opinionated and judgemental. It’s recommended to try to compliment over comment, always.

If someone tells you something, think of a positive observation you can make about the subject over a judgement or an opinionated statement.

Don’t Overshare

If you want to become an elite conversationalist, then it’s crucial that you don’t overshare. Oversharing is something people tend to do when they need to work on or heal a part of themselves. It usually stems from a lack of boundaries. The reason I know this is because it’s something I use to struggle with.

Try not to overshare your deepest darkest secrets especially with people you just meet. It’s honestly tacky and not very elegant.

Please let me know in the comments below THREE other tips you have to become an elite conversationalist!

cheers, alyssa

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